Something about us
by Little Dear One
Summary: After Kakashi leaves for a mission Sakura isn't herself and she begins to realize just how much he means to her. Set after the 4th shin obi war, rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: So, I am a recent Sakura/Kakashi convert and I just really want these guys to get together. I hope you enjoy this, I had so much fun writing it. Please, please comment and review, your feedback means so much to me! Thanks for taking the time to read! =)_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. **

Sakura smiled at Kakashi over the rim of her teacup. They were in her apartment playing cards and drinking tea as had become their routine. Every Sunday night, because Sakura had Monday's off, Kakashi would come over and they would play cards, sometimes have dinner, sometimes have tea and sometimes Kakashi would bring cake or other snacks. Once, a few months ago, Kakashi had brought sake and Sakura had been so elated to be treated like a peer by her former sensei that she had promptly gotten so drunk Kakashi had to leave earlier than usual, but not before he carried her to her bed.

That had been embarrassing.

Sakura couldn't remember the whole incident, but she was fairly certain she had ended up crying about Sasuke just before Kakashi decided it was time to call it a night. When she asked him about it later, abashed and unwilling to look him in the eye, Kakashi had said, "Crying? Oh, yeah, because I beat you in the last round." That had made her laugh.

Despite Kakashi's good-natured reaction to the drunken mess she had become, Sakura decided that she should probably save drinking for a little later. She was still a little raw about Sasuke's departure. Though, lately when she had thought about him it wasn't with the familiar longing and sadness, it was with anger and resentment. She still felt a pang in her heart when she thought about how easily he had dismissed her, but she was mad at him now and realizing this was always how he had treated her.

"Sakura-chan?"

Kakashi's calm voice broke her reverie and Sakura looked up at him in surprise.

"Did you say something?"

Kakashi smiled indulgently, at least Sakura was pretty sure that was his expression under his mask, "I said it's your turn,"

Kakashi had his cards in a neat pile on the table in front of him and patiently waited for Sakura to take her turn. She studied her cards seriously for a moment before deciding to draw another one.

"Yes! I win!" she said triumphantly throwing her cards down and sitting back in her seat allowing her grin to spread over her face.

Kakashi looked at her cards for a moment and then laughed softly, "Well look at that, I guess you did win, Sakura-chan." Kakashi turned over his cards and Sakura laughed joyously seeing that her hand really was superior. It had been almost half a year since they had started this "game night" and despite his apparent lack of effort, Kakashi almost always won. Naruto and Hinata joined them now and again, but Naruto usually gave his hand away early in the game making it less fun to play. _Oh, man if I just had another 5…As soon as I get a 10 you're all going down!_ These games just weren't his thing.

Hinata had been invited to come without Naruto as she was quite a good player, but when asked she had just blushed and said, "Thank you," while looking up at Naruto through her eyelashes. He had beamed at her and Sakura knew that right now Hinata just wanted to be where Naruto was if she could.

Right now, Sakura just wanted to bask in the glory of her victory. She grinned at her former sensei sitting across from her and he smiled, his eyes crinkling happily.

"You're learning Sakura-chan, that's good. I guess I am a good teacher for some things, you should try to practice while I'm gone."

It took a moment for his words to sink in. Sakura's grin turned into a frown of confusion.

"What are you talking about, Kakashi?"

He smiled again at the use of his name without an honorific. It had taken him months of pleading and cajoling for Sakura to finally call him by his name only.

"Well," he said calmly, carefully avoiding her eyes as he gathered up the cards and arranged them into a neat stack in the center of the table. "I'll be going on a mission for two months, I leave first thing in the morning."

Sakura pushed herself forward in her seat, hands splayed across the table, "What!" she exclaimed in mingled surprise and not a little annoyance. "You're leaving? Tomorrow? Why didn't you say anything? Kakashi-sen-"

Kakashi cut her off with a look, "Sakura-chan," he said, his voice perfectly level, "first, please don't call me 'sensei' and don't deny that you were going to," he added, anticipating her protest. "And, second, you know how I feel about goodbyes. I didn't want to say anything and make a big deal out of routine work. Going on missions from time to time is nothing new; it's part of my job. Two months isn't a long time anyway, so there's no reason to act any differently. Also," Kakashi looked away for a second and then back, his gaze locking on hers and his voice becoming suddenly cheerful, "I think I've been monopolizing your time, Sakura-chan. You're young and it's peace time, you should be out enjoying your free night, not stuck inside babysitting an old man. Really this is a good thing, so there's no reason to be upset."

Sakura wasn't sure if she was angrier with Kakashi for not telling her he was leaving, his flippant treatment of his absence, or the fact that he seemed to be suggesting they stop spending time together. She decided she could figure that out later, what mattered was that she was angry and he would know it.

"How can you act like that and not expect me to be upset? And, what are you trying to say, you don't want to spend time with me anymore? Am I bothering you, Kakashi, because you don't have to take life threatening missions just to get away from me!"Sakura glared at him. His look of mild surprise irritated her, he was always so mild. She stood up abruptly taking her teacup and walked into her kitchen. The apartment was "open concept" so she could see her little breakfast table, where Kakashi still sat, from the kitchen quite clearly.

She slammed her cup down in the sink harder then she intended, a little crack formed in one of her favourite cups.

_Damn_, she thought. Aloud she said, not looking at Kakashi, "Fine, you want to just leave without saying anything? Fine. I'm used to people not caring enough to say goodbye to me, if you're going then just leave, I'll see you when I see you."

Sakura didn't look up when she heard the faint rustle of cloth and the almost silent scrape of chair that meant Kakashi had stood up. She looked resolutely out the kitchen window at the night sky, her face turned away from him. She listened to his soft footfalls as he walked to the door, she felt the rush of cool air when he opened it, but he didn't go through right away.

Kakashi stood in the doorway for a moment looking at his former student, her arms crossed over her chest, her jaw locked, her pink hair framing her lovely face.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Sakura-chan. And, I do care."

Sakura's anger lessened slightly, Kakashi sounded so sincere. She wavered for a moment; unsure if she wanted to forgive him now, but before she could decide she heard a soft _click_ that told her Kakashi had left.

She looked at the door a long while and felt a familiar tightening in her chest, a sharp pain in her heart. _Now he's gone too_, she thought. Sakura sighed deeply and looked out the window regretfully. She should have said goodbye at least, she should have spoken to him like an adult, matched his calm speech, but instead she had wanted to pick a fight. She wanted him to get mad too, show some emotion.

They had spent so much time together, just in general, but more importantly as friends in these last few months and Sakura had thought it had made them a lot closer. Was this just Kakashi's version of closeness? Maybe she should have fallen in love and gone out with Naruto after all; he would never treat her like this.

That thought made Sakura pause. Why was she thinking about that right now? Whomever she fell in love with had nothing to do with the fact that Kakashi was emotionally stunted and couldn't even tell his friend he was leaving on a mission. Sakura shook her head in defeat and walked over to her bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror for a moment.

"Two months," she said aloud, "that's not so long, right?"


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: Thank you for reading past the first chapter, please comment and review!_

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters._**

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><p>"I'm sorry, can you say that again?"<p>

Sakura sat in the hospital in front of a patient who was trying to describe how he had gotten hurt.

The older man smiled a little and said, "A training exercise, my partner and I were demonstrating blocks and my attention wandered, and bam! Jump kick to the head."

Sakura stared at him for a moment willing his words to sink in. "Oh…Well, I'll just…I'll just take a look." Sakura glanced out the window though she didn't know why and then back at the man. Her hands began to glow with green chakra as she examined the man's head. She took a deep breath and let her mind focus on what she was doing.

Lately, Sakura has been spacing out a lot. She would finish eating and have no recollection of getting up from her table and suddenly find herself about to throw her dishes into the garbage instead of in the sink. She would take showers and forget if she had already washed her hair and ended up washing it twice, she was running out of shampoo. She had been giving one of the shinobi a physical a couple of weeks ago and had been absently stretching his arm to check for any irregular stiffness and hadn't heard his protests and cries of pain when she pulled too hard until Shizune walked in and asked what she was doing.

Sakura had to make an effort to concentrate now, the patient she was treating was her last of the day and she smiled as he walked out of the examination room. Once he was gone she looked at the calendar on the wall, tomorrow it would be exactly three months since Kakashi left. She glared at the calendar for a moment, then sighed and looked away. She had refused to let herself ask about his mission and if there was any information about when he would return. She was still worried about him, but she knew if anything serious happened she would find out, so for now she was still stewing about their last encounter.

She filled her now free Sundays by running errands, doing chores around the house and sometimes going out for dinner or drinks or just for fun with her friends. When she was with them she felt normal, she acted more like herself when she was around them and she had fun, but sometimes she just didn't want that. If she was being perfectly honest with herself, deep down Sakura knew that in a way she wanted to feel this …loneliness. It was stupid, she could go on dates, or hang out with her friends whenever she wanted, but most of the time she just didn't want to.

Why would Kakashi say he was monopolizing her time? Weren't they family, didn't family make time for each other?

Sakura sighed again and gathered her papers, her back to the door, and tried to decide what to have for dinner. Sakura frowned as she realized she couldn't remember what food she had in her house. She turned around and jumped in surprise to see Tsunade and Ino standing in the doorway. How had she not heard them approach?

Tsunade stood just inside the doorway and Ino was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed looking at Sakura intently.

"Yo, Forehead, you done?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "I still have a report to write and a couple of other things to take care of…what is this about? Is something wrong, shishou?" Sakura looked between her friend and the hokage.

Tsunade waved away her words, "You can finish your work another time, I know you don't have anything urgent you're currently working on so just leave everything as it is and don't come back to the hospital for a week."

Sakura was indignant. "What do you mean? Are you-did you just kick me out?"

"That's right, Sakura I want you to stop your work right now, go out with Ino-chan tonight and take a week to relax and do something fun. You've practically been working for three months straight and enough is enough. You are not to come back to this hospital for a week unless _you_ need treatment, which you shouldn't. That's an order, do you understand me, Sakura?"

Sakura pursed her lips, her hands were balled into fists at her side, but she looked into the face of her mentor and felt the fight drain out of her. She was so tired lately; it was like the fight was always draining out of her.

"Yes, shishou, understood."

Tsunade smiled warmly at her apprentice, "Good," she turned saying as she walked away, "have a good night girls, and don't forget, one week."

Sakura sighed a little and looked at Ino who was watching her intently, "Ino, why are you looking at me like that?"

Ino raised an eyebrow, "I'm just surprised by the size of your forehead, and I think it's actually gotten bigger. You're basically a giant forehead now."

Sakura bristled, "I'd rather be a giant forehead then a giant pig!"

Ino grinned and pushed herself off the doorframe, "That's more like it."

Sakura frowned at her and the other girl rolled her eyes.

"Girl, you have been acting so weird lately, and you think no one would notice? I've been hoping for weeks that you'd just snap out of it but I came today to talk to hokage-sama to get you out of work. The only reason she agreed and gave you some time off is because she's noticed it too and she agrees, you are not yourself lately."

Sakura scoffed, "I don't know what you're talking about." She shrugged out of her white hospital coat and draped it across the back of her chair before turning to look at her friend. Sakura motioned Ino out of the office and walked out after her.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, the only question is, are you moping and acting like a lost puppy because of Sasuke or because of Hatake Kakashi?"

Sakura had been looking out the windows as they walked passed them but whipped her head around to look at the other girl at her words.

"W-what?" Sakura spluttered, "I don't know what – This has _nothing_ to do with – Why would you say that?"

Ino looked mildly amused, " I see," she smirked a little and walked faster. "Hurry up, forehead, I told Lee and Chouji we're going out tonight. They're inviting all our friends and we're meeting everyone in about an hour."

Sakura walked quickly matching Ino's pace, "Fine, but why did you mention…why did you say…?"

Ino looked at her friend knowingly, Sakura blushed and opened her mouth to protest that look, there was no reason for her friend to look at her like that.

Ino laughed before Sakura could say anything and shook her head, "You are ridiculous sometimes, you know that? Now, pick up the pace! We're going to my house and," she looked Sakura up and down, "you need to take a shower and you can borrow some of my clothes. I'll do your makeup."

Sakura tried to object but Ino was resolute and threatened to go back to Tsunade and tell her Sakura wasn't cooperating. Being unwilling to face her mentor's displeasure Sakura finally admitted defeat and when they got to Ino's house she did as she was told.

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><p>Sakura got out of the shower wrapped in one of Ino's bathrobes and was brushing her hair out. It had gotten longer, falling now just below her collarbone.<p>

Ino sat in front of a vanity mirror in her room putting on eyeliner and when Sakura came in she pointed to her bed. There across the bedspread were three different dresses. Sakura looked at them in mild interest, "Do you want me to help you decide what to wear?"

Ino snorted, "No, I want you to pick a dress, those are your choices."

"What?" Sakura exclaimed, "No way!" She ran to her friend's closet, "You have got to have something more…more! Those dresses are way too short."

"Oh please," Ino said, running black eyeliner over her right eyelid making a perfect wingtip that matched the other eye. She turned to look at Sakura and pointed at her with the eyeliner, "If I let you choose you'd end up picking out all the dresses my father got for me."

Sakura hastily let go of a long, simply cut, yellow dress that she knew for a fact Ino's father had bought for her and glared at her friend.

"Alright fine, none of those dresses but there has got to be something else!"

Ino sighed and got up, she joined Sakura at her closet and riffled through her clothes. A dress caught Sakura's eye, "Wait!" she said, "how about that one?"

Ino followed her friend's gaze and tugged out the dress she indicated, "This one?"

"Yeah, you don't like it?"

Ino frowned a little at her dress and then at Sakura, she looked thoughtful for a moment, "Fine, but you have to let me do your makeup, pick out your shoes and do your hair. OR," Ino said, seeing that Sakura was about to say something, "you can wear one of the dresses on the bed, now hurry up and pick, Forehead, we have to leave soon."

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><p>"No eye shadow, Pig! I'm already wearing enough makeup, my eyelashes feel heavy, and I never used to be able to feel them at all!"<p>

Ino rolled her eyes, "Don't be so dramatic, Forehead, it's just a little shimmer, look," she dragged the brush across the back of her hand leaving a pearly white shimmer in its wake.

Sakura bit her lip and Ino slapped her wrist, "Don't do that! You'll get lipstick on your teeth!"

Sakura glared at her friend, but allowed her to apply the eye shadow and to touch up her lipstick. When that was done she stood up and said forcefully, "Enough. This is going to be a big pain to wash off already."

Ino gave her friend a dry look but put down the makeup and stood as well.

"Fine, let's go, we are running late and WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Sakura had been getting her purse and a sweater; she startled and nearly dropped both.

"Getting my things, why the hell are you yelling?" Sakura said, shouting as well.

"Not that granny sweater, Forehead, come on! I just spend half an hour on your makeup!"

"It's cold outside and if you think I'm walking to the bar in just this dress you can think again!"

"Then borrow something of mine-"

"NO," Sakura yelled so loudly Ino didn't speak for a moment and Sakura looked at her defiantly. Then, slowly Ino started to smile.

"Alright," she was grinning now, Sakura was acting more like herself, and she wasn't just going through the motions anymore. Ino grabbed a leather jacket for herself and slung her purse over her shoulder. "Well, hurry up then, let's go!"

As they walked to the bar, a place for shinobi that they had been to a couple times in the past, they fell into comfortable banter. They reminisced about their recent exam. Both Sakura and Ino were now jounin rank. They would normally have had to spend a lot longer as chounin training and studying, but their efforts in the war had helped them advance and they had both qualified last month. Even in her somewhat dazed state, Sakura had kept her head in the game and now suddenly regretted not going out to celebrate with Ino when they had passed.

They also talked about Lee's new girlfriend, it had been almost a year since the end of the IV Shinobi World War and Lee had gone to Sakura five months ago to tell her that she would always have a place in his heart but there was someone else. His girlfriend Ami was a year younger than them, she was cute and funny. Ami wasn't constant high energy like Lee, but they seemed to get along well and she did seem to genuinely like Lee. And, as was his way, Lee was head over heels for her.

"So, will Sai be there?" Sakura asked slyly.

The faintest of colour appeared on Ino's cheeks.

"Maybe, he was invited too," she said nonchalantly.

"Oh, drop the act, Pig! It's me you're talking to."

Ino gave Sakura a sidelong look then smiled softly looking away. This told Sakura more than anything else that Ino was in deep, Sai really meant something to her.

"I – we're going out on a date next week."

"WHAT? How could you not tell me that!" Sakura was grinning despite herself.

"Shut up!" Ino hissed looking around, "Don't act weird when we see him, okay? And, I didn't say anything because…" she shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, I was afraid of saying it out loud."

Sakura smiled at her friend, "Don't be stupid, Pig. You don't have anything to worry about, you're a catch."

They walked along in companionable silence after that until they reached the bar.

When they arrived they were greeted by a sudden surge of noise. Sakura heard people exclaiming their names and calling for them to come over. Her friends had practically taken over the whole bar. They were seated in a booth with tables added on the end, some were standing by the bar and they were all looking towards Sakura and Ino. Sakura felt a warmth that had nothing to do with the temperature of the room; she was almost overcome by the rush of affection she felt for all those smiling faces.

She looked at Ino and said softly, "Thanks for bringing me here."

Ino nodded and smiled too. They walked to the bar where Sai was standing waiting for his drink, he and Ino immediately fell into conversation and Sakura was greeted by Lee, Ami, Naruto, Hinata and Chouji, all of whom had gotten up and walked over to talk to her. They tried to engage Ino and Sai in conversation but sometimes they would revert back to speaking only to each other, and Sakura didn't mind. People she loved surrounded her and Ino, whom she loved more than most, was obviously happy so Sakura was happy too.

They ordered drinks and went to sit down together, Sakura had almost forgotten how funny Naruto and Lee were, and when they were together it was basically nonstop laughs for everyone around them. Sakura felt the smallest twinge of…something unpleasant, but she refused to let it get to her. Ino was right, she had not been acting like herself lately, and the worst part was that the reason was a guy. She was letting someone else dictate her emotional state, influence her life so hugely and he wasn't even here. Sakura refused to be that person, she had survived people leaving her so many times, and as she looked around at her friends' open, honest faces she remembered that she had never been alone anyway.

Sakura was enjoying herself so much she didn't realize that she had already been there for almost two hours. The night was still young, and Sakura was mostly clear headed. She had had one drink and was in the middle of her second. Despite Ino's encouragement, Sakura had learned her limit the hard way, she had no desire to be tucked into bed drunk, again.

"I have to train again tomorrow, Iruka-sensei said he'd spar with me. Ne, Hinata, you should join us, dattebayo!" Naruto was looking at Hinata, his smile infectious.

Hinata blushed a little but didn't look away, "If it's okay with Iruka-sensei, I'd love to, Naruto-kun."

"Ah, trying to impress Hinata with a display of power, Naruto, very wise," said Lee sagely. "Maybe also try walking on your hands around the village, that's impressive, right Ami?" Ami laughed and nodded.

"Naruto, you should try defeating the worst enemy the shinobi world has ever seen and become the hero of Konoha." said Tenten, leaning over to their side of the table. They all laughed.

"Or," said Sakura grinning at the blush on Hinata's face, but more importantly the blush on Naruto's, "you could become hokage, that's pretty impressive, don't you think?" Everyone laughed and Tenten ruffled Naruto's hair telling him not to be so shy.

He grinned at them all and then suddenly his eyes widened in surprise, he was grinning even more widely then before. He pointed toward the entrance of the bar and exclaimed excitedly, "Kakashi-sensei! You're back!"

Everyone turned to look and Sakura felt an almost pleasant swoop in her stomach like she had missed a step climbing a staircase. Her friends were calling Kakashi over and welcoming him back. Naruto got up to greet him followed by half the table. Sakura turned to look too.

At the bar a few seats away from the door stood Kakashi. He was smiling at his former student and thanking them for their enthusiastic cries of, "Welcome back!" Kakashi looked fine, the way he stood, slightly hunched forward, one hand in his pocket, the other resting on the counter of the bar, suggested to Sakura that he wasn't injured. What was surprising to Sakura was that he wasn't wearing his green jounin vest. He wore the black sweater that he normally wore underneath and Sakura was taken aback by what a difference it made. Kakashi looked more relaxed, more like a regular guy, somehow this look was…attractive.

Kakashi lifted his gaze from an energetic Naruto and looked at Sakura. His eyes crinkled as he smiled at her and Sakura felt a tingling start in her stomach and spread out to the rest of her body so that her hands shook a little as she pushed herself away from the table and stood. She had broken eye contact almost a second after it had occurred, she was starting to feel so self-conscious; she wished she was in her plain casual clothing.

Sakura walked slowly over to Kakashi and the cluster of her friends and peers, still not looking at her former teacher. When she was almost right in front of him she looked up, he was still looking at her, she had felt his eyes as she walked over.

"Kakashi, welcome home," Sakura said softly, willing herself not to look away from his warm brown eyes.

He smiled at her, "Thank you, Sakura-chan, it's good to be home."

Sakura fought down a blush, she was so stupid. She had meant to say, "Welcome back," but when she opened her mouth she had said, "Welcome home," like she was his wife greeting him in their house. The reason she was so flustered though was because Kakashi had gone along with it, he had said, "It's good to be home," which was the traditional response, like he was her husband and these greetings were routine.

Sakura looked at him and then away, she looked at him again to see he was still smiling at her. "Are you going to join us for a drink?" she asked.

"Join us, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto said, and many of their other friends echoed him.

Kakashi seemed to deliberate for a moment and then took his drink from the bar and said, "Okay, but I can't stay long." They walked back to their seats, Sakura very aware of the fact that Kakashi was walking right behind her.

Sakura had been sitting at the end of the table across from Lee and Ami, Naruto sat beside her, and beside him sat Hinata. They pulled another chair to the end of the table by Sakura and Lee and Kakashi sat and listened as they told him about what they had been doing in the time he was gone.

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><p><em>AN: I hope you enjoyed reading this! I hadn't originally planned on adding so much banter time with Ino and Sakura but it just organically came to be so I went with it. In case you're wondering, there will be some Kakashi POV, in the next chapter, in fact! Please look forward to it! =D<em>


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: I know I've been writing this all quite quickly- it's just all pouring out of me!- but it may take me a couple of days for the next chalet. Maybe. But, it shouldn't take very long to wrap this all up, please look forward to it. =)_

_Thank you very much to everyone who has read this far, who has commented, favourited or followed, that means so much to me! Thank you very much for your support!_

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters._**

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><p>Kakashi stood in his kitchen holding a glass of water in one hand and tapping the counter top with the fingers of his other hand. He was tired; he had just arrived from his mission an hour ago. He had reported in to Tsunade, and come back home, but not before he had overheard something that he was still thinking about. He had heard that a lot of young shinobi were out in one of the bars tonight, including most of the former team 7.<p>

Tsunade had informed him that Sakura had advanced to jounin level and Kakashi had felt a surge of pride. Of course she has qualified so soon, Sakura was so talented and strong, he hardly had a reason to be surprised. The reason he was standing in his kitchen and deliberating however was because he didn't know if he should go and see her…them, all the young shinobi.

Kakashi closed his eyes and gripped the water glass. He was having a hard time being honest with himself. He had just spent three months away from home because he was trying to do the right thing. He was always trying to do the right thing, that's why he had suggested to Sakura that they have a game night once a week in the first place, that's how it all started, really.

One week after the end of the war Kakashi had decided that Sakura could use a distraction, something normal and fun to help her adjust to her new life. It had started so well, Naruto and Hinata had only joined them a handful of times, but it didn't matter, he and Sakura always got along great. Slowly those game nights became the highlight of his week, and Kakashi realized he was looking forward to them. That wasn't a big deal though, he liked Sakura, and she was his favourite student, why shouldn't he enjoy spending time with her?

In the time they spent together Kakashi learned that Sakura was still hot headed, still kind and thoughtful, funnier than he remembered and that she was a responsible adult. He had always known she was responsible, but somehow he hadn't noticed that she was an adult now. Sometimes Sakura would say something about her work at the hospital, about what she thought about a new policy or current event and Kakashi would come face to face with the fact that the little girl who was boy crazy had long since vanished and in her wake was a strong, intelligent, amazing young woman.

It was after this revelation that Kakashi realized that when Sakura swept her hair back his gaze would linger on the elegant line of her neck, when she spoke sometimes his eyes would follow the movement of her lips, when she looked at him sometimes he would forget how much older than Sakura he was while looking into her brilliant green eyes. He ignored this though; he didn't confront what was staring him in the face.

When, three months into their routine Sakura had gotten drunk and cried Kakashi had been upset. Not with Sakura, but because she had mentioned Sasuke, he had thought she was getting over him, whenever Sasuke was mentioned she had seemed fine. Kakashi hadn't realized she was still so deeply in love with him. It was a few weeks later that he understood he was wrong. It wasn't that he hadn't realized Sakura still had feelings for Sasuke, it was that he didn't want her to have feelings for Sasuke. Kakashi wanted Sakura to forget about Sasuke, and to think about him.

The moment he realized this Kakashi felt like the biggest fool in the world. He was angry with himself, how could he do this? Sakura trusted him, she thought of him as a decent person, respected him as her former sensei and here he was panting after her like some deluded kid. What an idiot, what a horrible disgusting person he turned out to be. The only redeeming factor in this situation was that Kakashi was certain his feelings were genuine; he wasn't just attracted to Sakura. That was good and bad; at least he knew he wasn't a sexual predator. This discovery happened five months into their game night routine, and the next day he put in a request for a mission.

Despite all his good intentions Kakashi had failed. He hadn't provided Sakura with a safe, stable relationship to rely on; he had tainted their relationship with his ridiculous feelings. Who was he kidding? Sakura was young and beautiful, but more than that she was an incredible person and why would she waste her time on an old man? It would be a waste of her youth. The thought of a romantic relationship between them would probably disgust her, she would think he was taking advantage of her, the village would think that certainly. No, Kakashi would not drag her down with his presumptuous feelings, how dare he think about her like that. He was unfit, undeserving and if he had to leave his home for a few months so she could be free he would. He had hoped to be given a mission that would take him at least a year, but he could always take more missions when he came back. He resolved that he would do nothing if he came back and Sakura was with someone, he would not be jealous, he would not be upset, he would not try to scare the boy away. He would congratulate Sakura warmly, in the way any friend would, he would be happy for her, he would make sure the guy was a good person and then he would take another mission and leave, end of story.

Now, as he stood in his kitchen cursing himself, calling himself a fool in every way he could think of he kept coming back to the thought that he had to go to her. Kakashi had to see how she was doing with his own eyes. If Sakura was with someone else, he had to see her happy and maybe he could kill his feelings if he saw her look at someone else with eyes full of love and respect…

Not wanting to waste any time changing lest his resolve waver, Kakashi simply stripped off his torn vest letting it fall to the floor and walked out of his house in quick succession. He practically ran down the street and to the bar in his haste, visions of Sakura with the arm of some young shinobi draped over her shoulder filling his head. Just outside the bar Kakashi stopped, his breathing was still even, but he needed to collect himself, his emotions were too close to the surface right now and he needed to push them down firmly. With a deep breath Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets and walked into the bar.

He noticed immediately that the bar was overrun by newly minted jounin. It made him smile to see them all so carefree. He heard his name called by the unmistakable voice of Naruto and looked over. There was his former student standing up and walking over to him, grinning. He was followed by a few of his peers and Kakashi was actually glad to see them.

"Kakashi-sensei, you look so cool without your vest! Let me get you a drink!" Naruto said happily.

Kakashi smiled and accepted the drink and the compliment, then turned to look over at the table they had just vacated. His eyes fell on her almost instantly.

Sakura sat by herself at the corner of the table, the other half still occupied by her friends. She held his gaze for only a second and then looked away, Kakashi watched as she slowly pushed herself away from the table and got up. He felt an unfamiliar tightening in his stomach, a feeling that put him on edge and made him oddly aware of his whole body.

Sakura looked so beautiful Kakashi couldn't look away. Her pretty pink hair was clipped back on one side, she wore a simple black dress that formed a deep "V" shape in the front revealing a lot more of her smooth, fair skin than Kakashi had been prepared for. His eyes lingered on the gentle swell of her breasts for a moment before he torn his eyes away.

Sakura was wearing makeup too, but it didn't look overdone. Her eyelashes were more noticeable, her cheekbones more visible and her lips were a deeper pink than he remembered, but it was all very becoming. Kakashi fisted his hands in his pockets.

When Sakura reached him he smiled warmly, letting his genuine happiness at seeing her show through, it was easier right now than pretending indifference.

"Kakashi, welcome home," Sakura said softly.

He smiled at her, "Thank you, Sakura-chan, it's good to be home."

Sakura was so cute, too cute. She had spoken in a quiet but clear voice and the elation he felt when she spoke to him like they were a couple was almost too much. He couldn't stop himself from replying in kind and was it his imagination or was she blushing?

"Are you going to join us for a drink?" Sakura asked.

"Join us, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto said, and many of their other friends echoed him.

Realizing that he was staring at Sakura, Kakashi looked away from her to Naruto and considered. It was obvious Sakura was without a date right now, but that didn't mean she was still single, plus he needed to _know_ that she was well before he just left. He needed to talk to Tsunade about another mission soon.

"Okay, but I can't stay long."

They went over to their table, Kakashi walked behind Sakura and saw that the back of her dress had a deep "V" shape too, mirroring the front. She had a beauty mark on the middle of her spine, he hadn't known that.

They all sat and Kakashi listened to them all recount the goings-on of the village in his absence. He commented a little and smiled a lot, acting normally, only half listening to what they were saying. He was still struggling with what to do. Should he try to bring up relationships and find out if Sakura was with anyone? Did it matter? Was this what he should be doing in the first place? And, why (oh why) was he such a massive idiot?

Kakashi was just thinking that he should leave when he noticed Sakura put on her sweater. He had been at the bar with them for just under an hour at that point, was she leaving?

It seemed like Ino had noticed Sakura's movement too because she turned away from Sai and leaned over the table toward Sakura and said, "What are you doing?"

Sakura smiled at her friend, "I'm going to call it a night."

Ino narrowed her eyes at her friend, "Why?" she asked, casting a glance at a bemused Kakashi.

"I'm just tired that's all, I've been working all day you know. Plus, I think I'm getting a headache, but I have time off all this week," she added dryly giving Ino a look, "so I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Ino studied her friend for a moment like she was trying to decide if she believed her.

"Alright," Ino said with a sigh, "go home then, I'll see you tomorrow."

Sakura got up to leave and Ino spoke again, "Wait!" she turned to look at him, "Kakashi-sensei, you said you'd be leaving soon, right? Can you walk Sakura home, I'm worried she might be getting sick." Ino said this innocently enough but Kakashi got the feeling she was more perceptive then he had known.

"Of course," he said calmly and got up as well.

"Oh," said Sakura, "you don't have to! Really, I'm fine, you know I can take care of myself."

Kakashi smiled, "Everyone knows you can take care of yourself, Sakura-chan. But, Ino-san's right, I was going to leave anyway and really you'll be the one keeping me company."

They said their goodbyes in the midst of protests and attempts to bribe them into staying with offers of free food and drink. In the end they declined them all and walked out of the bar together.

* * *

><p>Sakura walked with her arms crossed beside Kakashi who had his hands in his pockets. She had been walking with her arms by her sides, but she had suddenly felt like they were swinging too heavily, too quickly and she felt infinitely more comfortable like this. It was a little cool outside now, but Sakura hardly noticed at all.<p>

They walked in silence for a few minutes, Sakura was unsure what to say. They hadn't brought up what had happened the last time they saw each other and Sakura wasn't sure if she should, or if she wanted to. She supposed she should apologize for losing her temper, but she didn't think she was wrong to be upset. Kakashi had just left and treated their time together like it meant nothing to him. She still got a prickly irritated feeling when she thought about that.

"Sakura-chan," Kakashi said not looking at her, "I heard you made jounin, congratulations." He turned his head and smiled.

Sakura looked at him, really looked at him, and suddenly she was hit with a tidal wave of emotions. It was unsettling, abrupt, but it wasn't surprising, because really she had already known. As she looked into Kakashi's smiling face Sakura wanted to cry, and only part of that was from sadness, it was really just an urge to express and release some of this emotion. The reason she was mad at him, why she had compared him to Sasuke, why his absence drove her to distraction, if she thought about it she had known for some time that she was in love.

Kakashi and his mild manner, his genuine smiles, his understanding and patience, his ability to comprehend how she felt, his belief in her strength and his determination to see her happy. She had fallen in love with him. Maybe it was when he had first come over to play cards, maybe it was when he had tucked her in drunk and incoherent, or maybe it had no real "starting point" and her love had just come on gradually and always just below the surface.

Sakura stopped walking suddenly and after another pace Kakashi stopped too.

"Sakura-chan? Is something wrong? You said your head-" he began.

"Why did you take the mission?" she asked, her voice even.

Kakashi stared at her for a moment, he looked nonplussed. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other; hands still in his pockets and smiled a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Just for a change of pace," he shrugged, "I guess I got bored living the quiet life, and I'm old, I have to put my skills to use now and again or I'll get rusty and useless." Kakashi spoke in an almost cheerful manner, and Sakura knew it was all a lie.

She wasn't sure how she knew; there was just something inside her, something in Kakashi's manner and voice that all told her he wasn't being honest. In the same way she knew that the real reason had something to do with her.

Sakura took a small step toward Kakashi; she tried to steel herself for everything that she was about to put into motion.

"Don't lie, Kakashi. None of that is the real reason you left," Sakura looked at Kakashi's expression of surprise, she could practically see the protests forming in his mind, "It was because of me, wasn't it? Did you know, did you guess?"

When he just looked at her in confusion Sakura took a deep steadying breath, looked him in the eye and said more softly than she had intended, "I love you."

She watched Kakashi's eyes go wide, his look of utter astonishment told her he hadn't known, but then, why…?

Kakashi lifted one hand up to the back of his neck and rubbed a little, he looked away from her then back.

"Sakura…chan," he sighed, he sounded defeated, "that's not… I know you think that you feel that way, and it makes sense. We spent a lot of time together, you miss Sasuke, and everything that happened with the war," he gestured widely as if he was trying to encompass all those events in a sweep of his hand. "But, I think if you really consider how you feel, you'll find that it's not actually-you don't _really_-"

Sakura felt dread, anger, frustration and hurt well up inside her in equal parts. But, as she looked at Kakashi's masked face she stiffened her resolve. No matter what she would not belittle her feelings when she knew they were real, she would not hinge her world on his acceptance or rejection. All Sakura could do was talk to him, and if he didn't reciprocate, or chose not to then she would pick herself up, dust herself off and continue because she had learned that no one's approval would make or break her.

"Don't," she said, "you're wrong, and don't tell me how I feel." Sakura spoke in a slightly cool tone, but her voice was even and under control. If this wasn't such a serious moment Sakura would want to high-five herself for how mature and collected she was being.

Kakashi shook his head.

_This is it,_ she thought, somewhat detached, of course he didn't feel the same way. Kakashi thought of her as a child, he thought she was just confused and lonely.

"It just doesn't make sense, and it wouldn't be right. You're too young and innocent, it would never work between us, you're just-I'm just-" Kakashi made a small noise of frustration which took Sakura aback. She hadn't realized he was so affected by her confession.

But, Sakura was a graceful loser, she knew she was beat and right now she didn't want to listen to all the ways she was wrong for him. She had made her resolve, but she wasn't made of stone.

Sakura took another small step toward Kakashi so they were almost touching. He stopped talking and looked at her. Sakura allowed herself to study his beloved, scarred face for a moment before she smiled, unable to hide the hurt that she knew must be in her expression. She gently grasped his wrist and tugged him down slightly, since Kakashi was already hunched he moved forward easily and before he could move away Sakura kissed the corner of his mouth, her lips meeting cloth. It was only a little more than a peck and then she was pulling away unable to look at him. She couldn't even say goodnight, she just turned away from him and walked off. Sakura half hoped he would follow her, but she couldn't sense his presence, she had a feeling he was standing in the same spot, watching her walk away.

Sakura kept going trying to ignore the pounding of her heart, the way her insides twisted and the strong urge to cry. She took an unsteady breath and once she rounded a corner she ran all the way home.


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: Happy new year! I hope you're all well on the first day of 2015! I wish you all the best and I come bearing updates! I hope you all enjoy this latest chapter, as ever it was so much fun to write this, and please let me know what you think! Please read the note at the bottom, and thank you for your support!_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.**

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><p>Sakura stood in her room, her heart still pounding, her eyes brimming with tears. She closed them and allowed the tears to fall. She waited for a moment and took deep breaths; it was too late in the night to cry her heart out like she wanted to. She would wake up with a headache and puffy eyes and she didn't want to explain that to Ino. Instead Sakura walked into her bathroom and washed off the makeup reciting medical information, types of poisons and their antidotes, sometimes out loud, sometimes in her head, resolutely not thinking about what had just happened. She had so much time to think and think about Kakashi. Right now Sakura felt exhausted, she knew that was not a good sign, but she was fairly sure she could empty her mind and sleep. She had gotten really good at that this past year.<p>

Sakura woke to sunlight bathing her room in a soft glow; her first thought was about Kakashi. She closed her eyes and took a breath; she kept thinking about what to do. Should she just cry until she felt raw and there were no more tears? Should she stoically force all her feelings away, lock them up tight in the back of her mind, in the depths of her heart? Should she pretend it never happened?

Sakura opened her eyes and got up. She went into her kitchen and made herself a cup of tea; she had managed to salvage her favourite cup. Actually Ino had it fixed for her birthday. The crack had been fixed with lacquer resin that had gold in it, _kintsugi_, Ino had said. The art of fixing something so the breaking of the thing as well as the repair become part of its history, part of its beauty.

She curled her fingers around her favourite cup and took comfort from the warmth. She looked at the gold coloured line running the length of the crack in her cup and remembered Kakashi's scarred face. She closed her eyes and let herself see him in her minds eye. Gods, he had looked so good last night, she had wanted so desperately to pull his hand out of his pocket and weave her fingers through his. She had wanted to throw her arms around him the moment she saw him. Sakura had wanted to feel the heat of his body engulf her own, but more than that she wanted him to want it too.

She had told him she loved him. Sakura got a weird shaky feeling when she thought about that moment, when she had been more venerable with him than she ever had. The way he looked at her had made her feel like a silly little girl, he was completely shocked. She frowned a little as she remembered that. He was caught utterly unawares by her confession, but wasn't that the reason he had left? For one moment Sakura had been so sure that the reason Kakashi left was to distance himself from her and her love. He wanted to give her space to bestow her feelings on someone who wasn't embarrassed by them, he didn't want to crush her silly girlish hopes…right?

That didn't fit though. Kakashi was a good actor, Sakura knew that but she knew he hadn't been acting he had really been surprised. She knew him well enough to know that. She had known him for years and they were friends.

Weren't they friends?

This didn't make sense, either they were still in a sensei-student relationship and he saw her as childish and confused, or they were friends and he saw them as peers, equals so then…why had he left and lied to her?

Sakura jumped at the sound of a knock on her door. For one wild moment, her heart racing, she thought, _Kakashi. _But, no, she would know this presence anywhere. She got up and opened the door to face her best friend. Ino walked right in when Sakura opened the door and sat at her table where her tea stood, the cup still full.

"Good morning, Ino, please come in," Sakura said dryly.

Ino ignored this, "Spill," she said by way of greeting, crossing her arms and leaning back in her seat. When Sakura just looked at her Ino raised an eyebrow, "Don't tell me nothing happened with Kakashi-sensei, I set that up so well!"

Sakura felt a sharp tug at her heart; it hurt more than she thought it would to hear his name. She sighed and made a cup of tea for Ino and sat back down with her. Ino took the cup without saying anything looking at her expectantly. Sakura sighed again.

"How did you know about…?"

Ino smiled a little, "Sakura, we have been friends almost all our lives, I _know_ you. So, what happened?" She said the last part more gently.

Sakura took a drink of her tea, stalling. She set the cup down and directed her words to it, "He walked me home, it was a little…tense, and then he congratulated me on reaching jounin rank and…and I don't know what happened. I just looked at him and I – I _felt _everything, you know? I hadn't really felt it before," she paused, took another drink. "I told him I love him," she admitted in a small voice.

She could feel the intensity of Ino's look.

"And then what happened," Ino asked carefully.

Sakura finally looked at her friend. "Then he didn't say it back," she said with more hurt in her voice than she wanted. Oh well, she shouldn't have to keep it together in front of Ino of all people.

Ino frowned at her, "Come on, he must have said something, just tell me what was said."

Sakura looked down at her tea again, she considered taking another sip. Instead she spoke again.

"He said that I only think I feel that way, that I'm too young for him, that it wouldn't be right," Sakura said, her tone defeated.

Ino was frowning at her.

"What?" Sakura asked.

Ino took a drink of tea and seemed to think hard for a moment, finally she looked at Sakura with a look of determination and sincerity.

"Sakura, remember that one time I came by your house when you guys were playing cards?"

"Yeah," Sakura said. She did remember, Ino had come over, bored and just wanting to hang out. She knew that Kakashi would be there and she had declined all Sakura's invitations but that day she joined in. She played one round with them and then she had stayed and watched for a while. Sakura remembered thinking Ino had been unusually quiet, but when Sakura asked her the next day if something was wrong Ino had only smiled at her and said, "Oh Forehead, things are finally going so right," and winked at her. She had refused to elaborate anymore and Sakura had soon forgotten about the whole thing.

"Well, after about ten minutes of playing with you guys it became really obvious. I knew you didn't know, I could tell you were operating on a subconscious level, but I think Kakashi-sensei was a little more aware, but still in that denial zone, you know?" Sakura looked at her like she had started speaking in an unknown language.

Ino rolled her eyes and looked at her again with the same sincere and intense expression.

"Sakura, listen to me, when I saw you two together, you looked like a couple of newlyweds. You guys were so comfortable with each other, and you were flirting so naturally you didn't even seem to realize you were doing it. I think Kakashi-sensei was a little more guarded, but he was definitely responding to you, girl. And, last night, the way he looked at you, Sakura he could hardly look at anyone but you, and you would have noticed if you hadn't been so busy trying to _not_ look at him."

Sakura sat completely still, dumbfounded.

"What? No, that can't – I mean it just doesn't…but how could you have noticed all that? Especially last night! You were practically glued to Sai!"

Ino smirked, "I'm a ninja, Sakura. I see everything."

Sakura snorted, and then she was laughing. She laughed so hard she cried. Then she wasn't sure if she was laughing or crying, and she wasn't sure if she was happy, sad, excited or scared. Ino was looking at her with concern.

"Hey, Forehead, are you alright?"

Sakura knew Ino was worried. She wiped her eyes and nodded, she took deep breaths.

"Yeah," she hiccupped, "Yes, I'm okay."

Ino gave her a look that told Sakura she wasn't convinced.

"Honestly, I'm okay. It's just really funny, you know?"

Ino raised her eyebrows.

"It is," Sakura insisted. "I mean, not really "ha ha" funny, I guess, but funny. It's just so ridiculous, all of this. Kakashi and I, the both of us, we're pretty ridiculous, don't you think?"

Ino shook her head, "Sakura, Kakashi-sensei is into you. Personally, I think it's more than he just thinks you're gorgeous, I think he really likes you. You know when he said 'You're too young'? I'm pretty sure what he was really saying was, 'I'm too old.' And, did he ever say point-blank that he doesn't feel the same way?"

Sakura looked at her best friend in the whole world. She took in her fierce expression; her utter belief in what she was saying and her obvious affection for her, for Sakura. Sakura suddenly felt a rush of gratitude and love for her friend, she felt relieved and she thanked every god in existence for her best friend. Her eyes began to fill with tears, she blinked them back and smiled at Ino.

"Thank you, Ino."

Ino smiled at Sakura, pushing her blonde bang behind her ear, "You don't need to thank me, Forehead. I've got your back."

And then they were grinning at each other and discussing what Sakura should do next.

* * *

><p>Kakashi stood in his kitchen once again irresolute. He held a cup of tea in one hand but he hadn't drunk any of it and it was starting to go cold. He had just been to see Tsunade with the intention of asking to be sent on another mission.<p>

_Kakashi arrived at Tsunade's office and when he went in he saw her poring over papers with the same look of intense concentration that he had often seen on Sakura's face. He swallowed. _

_Tsunade didn't look up as she said, "Good morning, Kakashi."_

_"Good morning, hokage-sama."_

_There was silence for a moment as Tsunade signed something and looked at him raising her eyebrows._

_"Well? Did you just come to survey your future office or did you need something?"_

_Kakashi looked at her in surprise and then he smiled, "No, I don't think-" he began, but Tsunade cut him off._

_"Well think again," she said pointing at him with her pen. "You are going to be the next hokage, very soon. I thought you said you would if the village needed you."_

_"Yes, but it has you."_

_Tsunade shook her head, "Not for long," she said grimly. "But, there will be time to discuss that later, what did you need to see me for?"_

_Kakashi looked at the fifth hokage, his eyes lingered on the seal that marked her forehead._

_"…Just came by to say hi and express my gratitude for what a great hokage you are being for the village," he smiled._

_Tsunade gave him a look that told him she didn't buy his reason but she just smiled wryly._

_"Thank you, Kakashi, now if that's everything…?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Then I need to get back to work, you're dismissed."_

_"Yes, good day, hokage-sama."_

_Tsunade raised her hand already looking over more papers._

Kakashi sighed as he remembered the scene in Tsunade's office. He had spent a restless night talking himself into going in between bouts of fitful sleep. He had meant to go and ask for another mission, anything that would take him away from the village, away from Sakura.

Wasn't that the right thing to do? He wanted to do the right thing objectively, but he didn't know how to think about the situation without his feelings rushing in and deciding for him. This was such an unfamiliar situation for him he just didn't know how to deal with it.

Kakashi closed his eyes.

He saw very clearly in his mind Sakura's flushed cheeks, her lovely pink hair framing her face, a blazing look in her eyes. _"I love you." _

Kakashi opened his eyes. He had spent a lot of the night trying to convince himself that this wasn't true. Sakura couldn't love him. He tried to rationalize away her feelings, they had spent a lot of time together and grown close, she mistook their friendship for romantic feelings. She was lonely. She missed Sasuke.

_"I love you."_

In all the time he was away, in all the time he agonized over his feelings for Sakura, not once did he allow himself to consider she might feel the same way. When she had told him she loved him Kakashi thought he had lost his mind. He was obviously hallucinating, had he actually been poisoned on his mission and this was just a drug-induced illusion? Was he dreaming?

But, no, it was real. Sakura, the woman he had been trying to forget, trying to distance himself from, was telling him she loved him.

When Sakura had pulled him down and kissed him Kakashi had felt like tiny sparks of heat were dancing all over his body. He felt his heart swell with joy, and his protesting mind for once, was silent. He still wasn't sure what he would have done if Sakura hadn't moved away so quickly. He knew what he wished he had done. He wished he had pulled his mask down, brushed his lips over hers, and teased them both before he finally gave in and kissed her lovely pink mouth. He wished he had wrapped his arms around her, crushed her body to his and felt the sweet heat of her…

Kakashi shook his head; he needed to stop thinking about Sakura like that. He really, _really_ needed to stop that. He looked down at his tea and grimaced, it was cold now. He sighed and went to sit on his couch. When he had been walking out of the hospital he had run into Genma. The man had been so happy to see him he had patted him on the back and forced Kakashi to invite him over for lunch. Kakashi had tried to weasel his way out of that invitation, but Genma was having none of it and collected a promise from Kakashi that he would be home waiting for his arrival in the afternoon. Genma had said he would bring food and that Kakashi should anticipate being spellbound with the stories of his latest conquests. Kakashi shook his head and wondered if he would be able to get some sleep before his friend came over.

He had leaned back and closed his eyes when he heard a knock at the door, he was annoyed at Genma's timing, and he had just managed to drift off.

"Come in," he said trying to keep his voice light.

He heard the door swing open, but he knew right away it wasn't Genma. His friend would have said something already, he would have walked with heavier footsteps, and he would not bring with him this familiar scent.

Kakashi opened his eyes and looked at his doorway. Sakura stood with her back pressed against the door she had just closed. She wasn't wearing any makeup today, she wore a sundress he had seen many times, and her hair was left down the way he was used to seeing it. She looked like a vision.

Sakura bit her lip and lifted a hand offering him a bag. He blinked; he hadn't even noticed she was carrying anything. When he didn't move or say anything Sakura took a hesitant step forward still holding out the bag.

"This is from Genma, he said he promised to get you something to eat."

Silence.

Sakura tried again, "He isn't going to come visit either, I asked him to make sure you were here so I could come see you. I need to talk to you, Kakashi."

The way she said his name made Kakashi want to close his eyes and savor the sound of it. The way Sakura said his name felt like a caress. He hadn't been anticipating her appearance and he was afraid to move to her, he didn't know how well he could control himself right now. Not when he had just been thinking about kissing her, touching her.

Sakura seemed unsure of what to make of his silence, but she walked over to his kitchen and set the food on the counter. She bit her lip again and then walked over to sit in the armchair adjacent to his couch, she sat down carefully but even so their knees touched. Neither of them moved away.

She folded her hands in her lap and looked suddenly shy. She was blushing and looking at her hands, gods, what was she doing to him?

"Sakura…chan," Kakashi cleared his throat, he didn't know what to say. He watched as Sakura clasped and unclasped her hands, as she pushed her hair behind her ears and bit her bottom lip again. He wondered if she knew how aware he became of her mouth when she did that.

She looked up at him, there was still colour in her cheeks but her eyes were focused on him. She gave him the same blazing honest look she had given him the night before.

"Kakashi, I don't know if I'm being a bother to you, if my presence and feelings are unwanted. If they are, I promise you I won't burden you with them again, I won't. But, I need to know, do you…how do you feel about me…?"

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><p><em>AN continued: I don't know if that ending counts as a cliffhanger, but I didn't do it on purpose (I swear!). It just felt like a natural pause to me, hahaha. I just wanted to give everyone a heads up that the next chapter is going to be ememdecidedly more lemony, if you catch my meaning. ;) It's going to have some serious fan service. How serious? I haven't decided yet, but it's going to happen. If that's your thing, please look forward to it! =)_


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Hey everyone! Hope you're all well and that you enjoy the latest chapter! It took a different turn from what I was planning…Again, thank you to everyone who's read, and especially everyone who followed, commented or favourited! Please let me know what you think of this chapter! _

**_Warning major fan service of the smut variety._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters._**

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><p><em>"Do you think the universe fights for our souls to be together?<em>

_Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences." _

_-Emery Allen_

Sakura couldn't remember ever being so nervous. Her heart was lurching in her chest, her stomach was in knots and internally she was running away from Kakashi, back to her house to hide under her covers where she would never have to face the possibility of his rejection.

Outwardly, however, Sakura sat with her hands clasped in her lap (maybe a little harder than was normal), her body still and she continued to look into the face of the person she loved. Kakashi was looking at her too. He was looking at her like he couldn't believe she was there. His eyes kept moving over her face as if he was trying to find something in her expression that would tell him she was an impostor.

Sakura hesitated, and then she slowly and carefully placed her hand over his where it rested on the arm of the couch. He jumped but didn't move his hand away; he looked down instead at their hands and then back up at Sakura. She was startled to see how pained his expression was.

Her heart clenched, "Kakashi…"

He turned his hand in hers and clasped it hard.

"Sakura, please…you shouldn't seek me out like this. I'm a weak man and you – you deserve someone better, someone _more_. And, I'm not an honourable man, I shouldn't feel this way about you, and I shouldn't think about you like I do. You should run, Sakura, because I want what's best for you, and it is not me."

Sakura squeezed his hand; her mind was reeling. He had feelings for her too. What she had to do was address his fear for her and of himself.

"You said my name," she said smiling tentatively.

Kakashi looked at her in confusion.

"You said, 'Sakura' not 'Sakura-chan.' I like that, and… I love you. Yes, you are older than I am, you've had more experiences in the world than I have, but neither of us are children. I stopped being a child the day I decided to be ninja. I trust you, I respect you and I know you've never thought less of me because I'm not as powerful as Naruto or Sasuke. I'm not confused about my feelings. I'm in love with the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, the sound of your laughter, the way you say my name, your bravery, your considerate nature, your patience and understanding, your crazy hair and your stupid books. I love you, and I only want to be with you." Sakura held his gaze, unwilling to look away lest he underestimate the feelings behind her words.

Kakashi closed his dark eyes. Sakura looked at his hand, which was in a half glove, today he was dressed in his regular jounin outfit. She picked up his hand in both of hers and pulled off his glove. She held his hand in the palm of her left and ran the fingers of her right hand lightly over his skin. It was strange how touching his hand could make her whole body feel hot.

She looked up to see Kakashi was watching her. Sakura didn't know what to make of the look he gave her; she had never seen it before. He didn't pull his hand away.

Instead, Kakashi leaned forward toward her; Sakura didn't realize she had moved forward as well, they were only inches away from each other. He lifted the hand that she was not holding and touched her hair lightly, his fingers trailed softly along her jaw. He gently pulled his other hand out of her grasp; Sakura closed her eyes and leaned into the caress.

"Sakura," he said, and she knew he wasn't going to argue with her about the rightness or wrongness of their feelings anymore.

Kakashi brushed his lips against her lightly; he gave her the whisper of a kiss. For a second Sakura thought that was all, that he would move away, maybe he wasn't ready to accept her feelings after all. She was wrong.

In the next second Kakashi pressed his lips to hers more firmly, tilting his head slightly and cupping her face in his hands. He was kissing her slowly, deeply and Sakura imitated his movements. She reached out and grasped his upper arm with one hand and placed the other on his knee for balance.

Sakura had never been kissed like this before. She had never really been kissed at all, actually. Quick pecks didn't count, and she had certainly never felt like _this. _Sakura felt as if her whole body was humming, singing, and she felt like it wasn't enough. Kakashi was so close, and yet she could hardly touch him, she wanted to be pressed right up against him. So, listening to the part of her mind that sometimes sounded suspiciously like Ino, she slid forward in her seat, moving carefully so as not to break the kiss and got up. She leaned forward, her hands on his shoulders for balance and support as she climbed onto his lap.

Sakura sat with her knees on either side of his hips, one hand in his silvery hair, the other on his hard shoulder. Kakashi gently pulled away from the kiss and reluctantly she opened her eyes. She stared at him in surprise. In the heady rush of feeling from his kiss Sakura had completely forgotten that Kakashi must have taken off his mask.

There was no disfiguring scar, any hideous birthmark or oddly shaped lips. Kakashi wasn't stunningly beautiful like they had joked, he was quite "normal" if in a very attractive way, and he was smiling at her, looking shy for the first time in Sakura's memory.

"Kakashi," she said, her voice quiet, "so this is what you look like. I don't see what all the fuss was about," she teased.

He laughed, he sounded a little breathless. Sakura smiled and touched his face, running her fingers over the smooth skin of his cheeks. She kissed all the places she touched, his forehead, his temples, his jaw, and the corners of his mouth. He ran his hands along her back, her sides, finally settling for a hand on her waist and the other on the soft skin of her thigh.

"Kakashi," Sakura said, marveling at how unguarded and happy he looked, "I love you."

He kissed her, more urgently than before. Sakura moved her hands to his vest and pulled down the zipper, without missing a beat Kakashi was helping her take it off, shrugging it down his shoulders and slipping his arms out. Sakura ran her hands along the hard muscles of his chest, feeling them jump and bunch beneath the material of his sweater.

Kakashi was stroking her thigh, running his hand along the hem of her dress. Sakura tried not to think about that too much, she wanted to concentrate on the feel of his heated kisses, his hard body beneath hers, but she was distracted by the idea of him running his hands up her thighs and under her dress.

She sucked on his bottom lip and he made a sound in the back of his throat that may have been a groan. He gripped her waist more tightly and pulled his mouth away from hers. He kissed along her jaw, down her neck and across her shoulder moving the thin strap of her dress aside as he did so.

Sakura felt alive with want. She wanted Kakashi in a different way than she had him now, or more precisely she wanted _more_ of him. She felt restless and almost overcome by the desire to feel him, to touch him, to be as close to him as she possibly could be.

Sakura closed her eyes and bit her lip; she placed her hand over his, the one on her leg, and gently slid it up, allowing their hands to move her dress. She could feel him begin to breath more heavily.

Sakura may have been inexperienced, but she was by no means ignorant. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she knew exactly what she wanted. She wasn't going to pressure Kakashi if he thought it was too soon, but she didn't think he would ever move this far without her explicit permission first. His hand was now on the inside of her thigh, brushing the edge of her underwear.

Kakashi lifted his head and looked at her. He studied her face intently; there was a look of mingled desire and disbelief on his face. Like he wasn't sure how he was fortunate enough to end up in this situation.

"Sakura," his voice sounded strained, "are you sure…?"

She took a shaky breath, "Yes."

For a moment he just looked at her, then he cupped her face with his free hand and said, "I love you."

Sakura smiled, "I know."

* * *

><p>Kakashi felt like he was in a wonderful, highly vivid and sensational dream. Real life had never been this good to him, there was no way the woman he loved was sitting on his lap kissing him and inviting him to touch her.<p>

He felt like he was in a constant state of disbelief since the moment Sakura had confessed to him in the street on their way home last night.

Maybe he had been killed on his mission and this was his afterlife. Perhaps all his good intentions and actions for the greater good really were correct and so he was being given his heart's most desperate desire. He was being given Sakura's love.

"I love you," he told her.

"I know," she replied, smiling at him.

Kakashi smiled too, he didn't think he had ever felt this happy before. He had thought his feelings for her would destroy him, that they would taint her and that they would be rejected. When Sakura told him that she was in love with his "crazy hair" and "stupid books" Kakashi had felt himself give in to his own feelings. She wasn't deceiving herself with an image of him that didn't exist; she loved his strange, flawed self, she loved him just as he was.

Truthfully he didn't want to fight his feelings anyway. He wanted to believe her. The way she looked at him begged Kakashi to trust in her, and he trusted Sakura with his life as well as his heart.

When Sakura moved his hand so it pressed against her core Kakashi felt a rush of pleasure, as if _she_ were touching _him. _He didn't think this was strange however, he understood this to be the basis of his love; he wanted what she wanted for herself. Especially when it felt this good.

Kakashi pressed his hand against her, rubbing firmly and growing more and more aroused by the feel of her heat, her wetness and by the sounds she was making. He was aware of how hard he was breathing and how badly he wanted to _touch_ her, skin on skin. But, he would pace himself; he was going to go slowly. He would be damned first before he rushed this.

Sakura kissed him and he felt a shock of pleasure, she was kissing him urgently, hungrily, like she couldn't do it often enough. He held the back of her head with his free hand and tried to direct the kiss, he appreciated the passion, but he didn't want to get too excited just yet, he definitely could not afford that. He kissed her deeply, once, twice and then carefully moved back. Sakura was breathing hard her eyes still closed. She opened them and looked at him with her bright loving gaze.

"I'm sorry," she said, sounding and looking it, "did I…am I going too fast?"

Kakashi almost laughed. Sakura was adorable; the idea that he would not want this with every fiber of his being was ridiculous. To be able to make love with Sakura, he still didn't understand how it was possible he could be so lucky.

He smiled, "No, don't be silly, Sakura. But, if I'm going too fast, if I hurt you you have to tell me, okay?" She nodded. "Good…" he hesitated, "I wanted to ask if you – well, maybe we should – the bedroom…" why was he so incoherent suddenly?

Sakura looked at him for a moment and then she climbed off him a little unsteadily. She stood and extended her hand to him. Kakashi looked at her brilliant green eyes, her small strong hand extended to him in a gesture of support and trust. _Gods, _he thought, _keep it together, man. _He felt like he might just spontaneously combust, like he might…cry. It was a little surprising to think that, but he realized that was honestly how he felt. He didn't recognize this feeling after years of being emotionally and physically on guard almost constantly, and especially with others. Sakura was different though, she gave of herself so honestly and she trusted him so implicitly that he felt like she was pulling emotions and thoughts from him even he didn't know he possessed anymore or at all.

He took her hand.

* * *

><p>They stood in Kakashi's room; Sakura only had a vague impression of a bed, a desk and window, she couldn't really calm her mind to take in any other furnishings. Kakashi was kissing her neck and running his hands up and down her sides. She felt a little thrill every time his hands skimmed her breasts; she shifted and arched her back trying to get him to touch her where she wanted. Kakashi moved his hands to her back and Sakura shivered at his light touch as he pulled the zipper down on her dress.<p>

A puddle of blue and white fabric formed around her feet as the dress slid off her body, Sakura felt heat rush to her face at the same time it pooled in her abdomen and between her legs. She reached out and tugged on the hem of Kakashi's shirt, she was not going to be the only one standing half naked. Kakashi lifted his arms and helped her remove his sweater.

Sakura bit her lip. He was all hard, well-defined muscle. His skin was covered in so many scars. Sakura reached out to trace one, she had a few scars too, but she didn't look like this, yet. She ran her fingers up his abdomen and over his chest marveling at the feel of him.

Kakashi bent his head and kissed her, he put his arms around her and undid the clasp of her bra. Sakura lifted her hands to his shoulders and pressed her body against his. She gasped at the exquisite feel of hot skin on skin. She moved her mouth from his and kissed his shoulder, his collar bone, his chest, all the while running her hands along his back tracing the scars, wishing he would never have to face any pain again.

When Sakura reached the top of his pants she paused before she moved back slightly to give her hands room to unbutton them. Kakashi stilled as her hands worked the buttons, they were shaking and she was fumbling. He put his hands over hers and she looked up at him. His unmasked face was still novel, and the look of complete love and trust he gave her eased her worries. She was still shaking a little, but she felt calmer, she didn't even feel self conscious as his eyes roamed her body.

He finished what Sakura had started and Kakashi stood before Sakura now without a shred of clothing on him. Sakura swallowed and bit her lip, she allowed her gaze to move slowly down from his face, and along his body. It wasn't as if she had never seen a naked man before, she was a medical ninja, but this was so different. Kakashi was obviously aroused and the men she examined injured from battle had never been, they also didn't depict men like this in the books at the hospital.

He reached for her. Kakashi placed a hand on her waist and another on her cheek. With his thumb he gently pulled her lip out from between her teeth. He bent his head and kissed her, just her bottom lip, sucking lightly.

"Every time you bite your lip," he said, his voice low and rough, "I want to kiss you."

Before Sakura could think of what to reply, Kakashi was lifting her up. She yelped in surprise and had to fight the urge to punch him, her normal reaction to being so surprised. He carried her to the bed and placed her gently on it, her head resting on a pillow that smelled wonderfully of Kakashi.

He lay on his side next to her; he kissed her softly, while his fingers traced light paths down her body. Kakashi's touch felt like it was leaving a path of fire in its wake and he wasn't even touching any sensitive areas. He was running a line from the hollow of her throat down the middle of her chest to the edge of her underwear, and back up. Sakura arched her back as he ran his hand down again, she knew he was teasing her, was he not affected like she was?

Maybe that was it; maybe she was the only one who was drowning in these sensations. Sakura had never been more aware of her own body, more unable to filter the thoughts and feelings running through her. If it didn't feel so amazingly good she would think she was losing her mind.

She lifted her hand to his head and threaded her fingers through his thick hair. She lifted her head to kiss him more firmly, trying to tell him without words that she wanted more. He got the message because in the next moment his big warm hand cupped her breast. Sakura moaned, breaking the kiss, she felt a steady pulse beat between her legs.

Kakashi kissed along her shoulders, raining kisses all over her chest, and Sakura gasped when his mouth fell on each rosy nipple in turn. She had both arms around him now, one hand in his hair the other grasping his back. When his teeth gently grazed a nipple Sakura arched her back. He pulled down her underwear and Sakura kicked it off. Kakashi had one hand between her legs, stroking along her wetness before he pushed in a finger.

How was it possible to feel so much all at once? How could she not have realized how attracted she was to Kakashi, gods this man could drive her crazy with his touch.

Sakura thought again that maybe she was the only one who was feeling so intensely. She hesitated for a moment debating the wisdom of what she was thinking of doing before she did it. She would be bold, she wanted him to feel good too, and they were partners after all. Sakura let go of his hair and lowered her hand to his hard length. She stroked him once firmly and was both satisfied and pleased to hear his gasp of surprise and then moan of pleasure.

She continued to move her hand along his length, rubbing the tip with her thumb. Kakashi was breathing harder now, he was suspended above her no longer kissing her, and his hips were beginning to follow her movement. Sakura was enjoying his reactions; she loved the fact that she could draw these sounds from him. And he was making these faces; she wanted to kiss his skilled mouth immobile.

After a moment however, Kakashi placed a hand over hers stilling her movements. He took a deep steadying breath and looked at her. He smiled a little, his good eye open and his scarred eye shut.

"You should stop, Sakura, if you keep that up I won't last very long."

Sakura smiled, "It felt good? Then why should I stop?"

"Because," Kakashi said, his voice low and seductive, "I want to feel you too," he stroked her inner thigh and Sakura felt her pulse jump. "Is that what you want?"

She nodded.

Kakashi lowered himself slowly so that every inch of her body touched his, but he kept the bulk of his weight off her. They kissed deeply; Sakura lifted her arms up along his back and grasped his shoulders as he gently spread her legs. Her heart was beating wildly and her mind was racing, she wanted to have some measure of control over her own self but she just couldn't focus long enough to do so.

When Kakashi began pushing into her Sakura gasped. She was breathing heavily and clinging to him like she would lose herself otherwise, like he was all that was keeping her from plummeting over the edge of a precipice. She didn't feel any pain and Kakashi didn't move right away like she thought he would. He was still.

He began to caress her hair, tenderly moving it out of her eyes and spreading it out over the pillow. He kissed her face and then spoke softly.

"Sakura, how do you feel, are you okay?" He was obviously genuinely concerned.

"Yes," Sakura said in a small voice. He didn't look convinced. "It's just…there's so much – and I can't control myself and I just can't stop _feeling _so many things…"

Kakashi frowned, "Do you want to stop? If you don't want this anymore we can stop, if you're unsure-"

"No, no," Sakura said, urgently, meaning it, "I just…I don't know how to handle everything I'm feeling."

Kakashi looked at her in concern for a moment. "If that's really it, then try to let go. Don't try to control anything, just let yourself feel what you're feeling. Concentrate on me, trust in me."

Sakura looked into Kakashi's intense dark eyes and smiled a little. She lifted her head to kiss him. As she did so she moved the rest of her body and their kiss was cut off by a moan from both of them. Her movement had caused a delicious friction that Sakura hadn't anticipated.

Kakashi still didn't move, he continued to look at her, waiting. Sakura nodded and kissed him again.

Kakashi lifted his hips and moved in long gentle strokes. Sakura felt like she was losing herself again.

"Don't fight it, Sakura, stay with me. I feel it too; I'm feeling what you're feeling. Trust me."

She did. Sakura trusted him and finally, really, gave herself to him.

When he thrust into her, she lifted her hips to meet him. Sakura gripped his shoulders hard, no longer drowning in sensations, now she felt as if she were floating on them.

Sakura moved in time with Kakashi. She was gasping and moaning without thought of being overhead. What did it matter? The whole village would know soon enough. Right now Sakura was only concerned with making Kakashi move faster, harder. She was burning with need and she knew that he would be able to sooth this desire.

Kakashi increased his tempo, rocking his hips against hers. Sakura gloried in the feel of him. She could feel a steady tightening inside of her, a mounting pleasure that was heightened with every stroke.

Sakura suddenly felt Kakashi touch her. He placed two fingers on the sensitive nub at her core just above where they were joined. Sakura arched her back in response. She felt like something was just out of her reach. She gasped and clung to Kakashi, he continued to move steadily, his fingers working her into frenzy.

"Kakashi…" she pleaded. She hardly knew what she was asking for.

Suddenly, she felt her pleasure mount and break. There was a roaring in her ears, her back arched and she cried out. Kakashi was moving faster now, still stroking her with his fingers, prolonging her orgasm. Sakura wrapped her legs around his hips and fought to be closer to him, to take more of him in. His breath hitched and he stiffened, she felt him shudder and heard him gasp as he came.

Kakashi lowered himself on top of Sakura. He still wasn't placing all his weight on her, and she found the feel of his warm hard body pressing on her pleasant. She ran her fingers up his back and along his arms feeling sated and languid. They stayed that way for a little while before Kakashi carefully pulled out of her and rolled onto his back.

He was breathing normally again and opened his arms so Sakura could rest with them wrapped around her as she laid her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head.

"Sakura," he said tentatively.

"Mmm?"

"Sakura," Kakashi said again, "I love you, and that was amazing and I wouldn't take it back for the world but…"

Sakura felt cold fingers grip her insides, oh gods what was wrong now?

"I was completely irresponsible, I'm so sorry." His grip on her tightened.

Sakura frowned and lifted her head to look at him in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

He looked at her with a pained expression. "Sakura, I didn't stop to think…I didn't use any protection. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, and I'm so sorry-"

Sakura placed a finger over his mouth.

"Don't, it's okay." Now it was Kakashi's turn to frown. "It's my responsibility too, I didn't think about it either. But, if I…if we have a baby, would that really be a bad thing?" Sakura couldn't keep eye contact for the last part; she looked down at his chest blushing lightly.

She didn't see Kakashi's surprised expression soften.

"Sakura," he said gently, "I never thought of myself as a father. I didn't think children would be part of my life like that, but I think it was because I couldn't imagine having a partner like you. If they're your children too, then no, they wouldn't be a bad thing, they would be something incredible."

Sakura looked at him again, he was smiling, and his expression was so warm and loving that she couldn't resist leaning up and kissing him.

"I feel the same way," she said kissing him again. "So, I guess now we have to tell our friends. I think you should be the one to talk to Tsunade-shishou."

A look of mild terror crossed Kakashi's face. Sakura laughed.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I really hope you liked that! Up next is the epilogue, please look forward to it! =)<em>


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